Fear of Self
by GlycineThalia
Summary: ::Another bad summary!!!:: Rei battles her thoughts, thoughts that want to control and kill her. But can she escape the most frightening thing of all, herself?


Glycine - My third fic! Wow! I didn't think that I could do it!!!!! I love Evangelion!!! ^__~  
Thalia - Well, it's official. My aibou is a nutcase.  
Glycine - ::is doing the happy dance::  
Thalia - Could she get any creepier? Oops.  
Glycine - I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, why??? ::crys::  
Thalia - ::sighs:: I just had to say that.   
  
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A/N - This is a dark and depressing story. Um, I hope some people like these kinds of stories. "~~~~" = speaking, '~~~' = thinking, ~iiiiiiiii~ = "Evil" Rei (her thoughts), and ----- Name = that person's pov. Hope you like it!!  
  
IMPORTANT - There is NO, I repeat NO character romance. It's strictly an Ayanami Rei fic. DARK AND DEPRESSING!!!!!!!! Heh, yeah. ^__~  
  
----- Rei (all the way!!)  
  
The lonely blue haired girl slowly walked out of NERV. She was gloomy today, extra gloomy. But she didn't know why. Her day wasn't that bad. Was it?  
  
Voices around her were telling her that she was worthless. What were they saying? Was it even a they? What did it want from her? She turned around, expecting it to be Soryu. But it wasn't.  
  
But no one was there. She shuddered.  
  
She tried not to listen to them, but they were overpowering her weak force to hold them back from her ears. ~Useless, pathetic, weak. C'mon, Rei!~  
  
The poor girl covered her ears, trying not to listen. ~See? You won't talk. You're afraid.~ 'I'm not afraid!' her thoughts screamed, but she could not say them outloud.  
  
She opened her mouth and tried to scream, but nothing came out. Why? Her thoughts raced inside her mind, but nothing happened. 'What's happening?' Whatever was inside of her was laughing.  
  
~You stupid girl. You think that you can talk, while I can't? You can't do anything with your mouth, just like me. You are locked away in your thoughts. Forever.~  
  
'No!' her thoughts screamed. Why was this happening to her? What was going on? She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She clasped her hands over her lips.  
  
'This can't be happening!' ~But it is, Rei. All of those years that you never talked are coming back to haunt you. Now that you want to talk. But I won't let you.~  
  
'Who are you?' The voice inside her head laughed. ~I'm you, you idoit. Can't you realise it? Or has losing your voice made you lose your brain, too?~  
  
Rei shook her head. What was that thing? It couldn't be her. It might have sounded like her, but it wasn't her. Rei was sure of it. ~But are you that sure?~ 'How did you get into my thoughts?'  
  
~I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I'm you. I share all of your thoughts.~ 'You can't be me!' her mind screamed, 'I'm not like you!' That eerie laugh rang inside her head again.  
  
'Stop that! Please!!' ~Ha! Why should I stop? It makes you miserable. And it's about time. Now you'll see how I feel!~ 'What are you talking about?'   
  
~It's obvious, Rei. Once you've lost your mind completely, I can take over it, and turn you into my slave.~ 'No, you can't! Someone will save me!' ~Sure they will. Once you tell them about me, you'll be locked away.'  
  
Rei couldn't believe what was happening to her. How? Why? What was that voice? Why couldn't she talk? The voice inside of her head was trying to take over her. To kill her!  
  
'What is your name?' her thoughts asked, surely her and that thing couldn't have the same name as her. They were both very different! ~You want to know my name?~ the voice asked.   
  
Rei nodded, 'You must tell me!' ~Or what? You'll scream?~ That laugh echoed through her. 'Stop it! Stop laughing!' Debating with her thoughts was going to drive her crazy.  
  
'Please!' ~What is it to you?~ 'I must know! You can't me be! I won't let you!' ~My, my. You have such an attitude. I thought that you were shy, weak, little Rei.~ 'You're wrong! I'm not shy, or weak. I'm me.'  
  
~Well, I'm you too. I can make you do anything! Your mind isn't stable enough to stay in this state!~ It laughed again. Every laugh was like a knife stabbed in Rei's back.  
  
They hurt her as much as real knives. ~I'm glad! You deseve to hurt, Rei!~ 'No!' Rei thought, 'No one deserves to or be hurt! Not me, not anybody!' ~Then why did you hurt me?~  
  
A cold shiver ran up her spinal cord. 'What?' ~You heard me, Rei. As much as I can hear you.~ 'I don't even know you!' ~Liar! You've known me all of your life.~ 'No!'  
  
~Yes! Admit it, Rei. You can't hide from yourself your whole life! You think that shyness is okay? You've deserted me, so I've decided you.  
  
Then, like weak, unstable bricks, the words came crashing down. That thing that kept threatening her, it wasn't her thoughts. 'No, you can't be!' ~Yes Rei. You're finally realising it.~  
  
'You can't be!' ~Don't hide it! You can't. Not anymore. You're growing weaker with every breath you take. I will come, Rei. Sooner or later. I will come.~  
  
Rei screamed, finding her voice. Her yell could be heard from far away. Because it was not her thoughts that were talking to her, it was her voice.  
  
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Glycine - Well, that's Part 1. There's three parts. Poor Rei. ;_;  
Thalia - Why are you sad? You wrote it.  
Glycine - Still. I feel bad for Rei.  
Thalia - She deserves it.  
Glycine - Please tell me if you liked it!! R/R! I'll write Part 2 if you like it!!! ::puppy dog eyes::  
Thalia - Not the eyes!!!! ::faints::  
Glycine - Heheheheheh. Please R/R!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!! 


End file.
